FLASHBACK: Wyoming Wedding (1983)

A wedding invite between jobs and a new car took me past Mount Rushmore in South Dakota.  Somehow I expected four old white guys to be more imposing on a uniquely American national monument.

Herr Cucachara proved its mettle, reliably and cheaply carrying me nearly 3,000 miles from 47 Pianos to Rock Springs, Wyoming, where David, Lois's youngest son, was tying the knot to Jan, a local gal.

Although honeymoon-less, I pulled over in Niagara Falls, bought a souvenir shot glass that I used to gargle mouthwash and a pamphlet describing Annie Edson Taylor, the first person to barrel over the Falls.  I thought her exploits might serve as the basis of a feminist screenplay.  Yep, I still was dreaming in those days.  Solo travel gives you a lot of time for that.

It would take me another 34 years to get wet on the Maid of the Mist.

My route, plotted with Rand McNally, took me to the Wisconsin Dells, where I ignorantly slept through a tornado warning in the same little green tent I had pitched nearly a decade earlier in Maine and taken with me to Alaska, too.  After navigating the amber-grain monotony of the Great Plains, the wind-and water-sculpted Badlands came as a relief.

I got to Mount Rushmore late in the day.  The parking lot was nearly empty.

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln gazed out from the shadows.  Only Lincoln's reputation remains unsullied four decades later.  Father Time takes no prisoners.

I looked forward to seeing Barb as much as seeing the four Presidents.  We took BJ to Flaming Gorge, Utah, a huge reservoir formed by damming the Green River.

I don't think I had become a regular swimmer yet, but I always loved the water.

Ken and Lois drove up from El Paso for the nuptials.  The next time I saw Dad, we were on the other other side of the world, in Sydney, about to depart on our Australian road trip.

Lois (center, blue dress); David & Jan (to her right); Ken & Jeff (to her left); and Barb holding BJ

 

FLASHBACK: Family Politics (1986)

I drove Herr Cucaracha to Reedville, Virginia where my uncle and cousin owned property not far from the Chesapeake Bay.  It would have been hard to find Robbie's house from the highway if not for his homemade sign.  Then again, he also tuned in to Rush Limbaugh every day.

Dad had come up from Texas with Lois, my stepmother.  It must have been hard for her to visit relatives on my mother's side of the family even after Aunt Sissy, my mother's sister had died.

We headed to Washington, DC after staying overnight and headed straight to the Supreme Court.  Reagan recently had appointed William Rehnquist as the Chief Supreme.  

 

Lois, from Emporia, Kansas, was pretty conservative.  My father leaned libertarian.  I'm pretty sure I didn't tell either of them how Gore Vidal lampooned Rehnquist in Myron after the then associate justice signed an anti-pornography Supreme Court decision.

 

Nevertheless, we all wanted to see the deeply moving Viet Nam Veterans Memorial designed my Maya Lin.   If things had gone differently in our lives, the Hon name could have been inscribed upon it along with 58,000 others.  Dad had served in Saigon during the Tet Offensive and I had been eligible for the draft during my freshman year of college. 

 

 

FLASHBACK: The Lois Years (1975 - 1992)

After Mary died, Ken played the field for a couple of years.  He dated only Lois, a single mother, seriously.  She pretty much ran the El Paso Board of Realtors and lived with her four, mostly grown kids not far from us.

1977

I hadn't quite let go of El Paso and visited frequently after graduating from college, often to borrow one of Ken's cars for road trips to Colorado and California.  Charlie, who'd gone deaf, hung on for a couple of years.

1977

Ken waited until Mary's mother died before marrying Lois in 1978. 

Mary L. Ostrander, age 88

I knew Lois quite well because I had dated Barb, her daughter in high school.  She'd even flown to New York City to visit me at Columbia my sophomore year.

Dog Canyon (1978)

David, Barb's younger brother, and Ken got along like gangbusters.  David eventually moved to Rock Springs, Wyoming where he married, had two children and established a thriving appliance repair business.  He inherited Ken's tools.

1977

Kathy, Barb's older sister, relocated to California after graduating from high school.  Ken and David helped her move back to El Paso in the early 80s.  When Kathy eventually met and married an Air Force pilot, Ken walked her down the aisle.

Kathy had a twin brother, Kenny, who moved to Kansas City, leaving behind both his dog Shawnda

. . . and his yellow VW bug, which he bought at Ken's urging to drive back and forth from the oil wells where he worked in Midland, Texas.  Kenny wrote music, too.

I marveled at Ken's instant family.  9912 Collette had suddenly become a very lively place. It suited him.  He loved calling himself "the patriarch."  And I loved what Lois, who called him Hon (they always referred to each other by their last names, a peculiarity I never understood because Lois kept her first husband's name) loved to say about him:  "Hon may not always be right, but he's always sure!"

1984

Ken bonded with Lois's siblings, too.  Her brother Marvin and Betty lived closest, in Albuquerque, a three- hour drive north of El Paso.

1980

Ken and Lois visited me a couple of times at 47 Pianos.  They stopped driving when thieves broke into Ken's Vanagon.  We also toured the nation's capital in 1986.

West 88th Street (1981)

Lois and I had a great relationship.  I will never forget how hard she laughed when I took them via the subway to Sunday brunch at Windows on the World.  

We passed a table of nuns going to our table.  "I wonder what Mother Teresa is having for breakfast this morning," I whispered.

I was surprised when Barb married Ted, who played tennis in high school.  But not as surprised as when he walked out on her, shortly after they adopted a baby.  Ted left her without a penny in the brand new home they'd bought to raise a family.

Ken, Lois, Barb, Ted (1979)

Barb worked full-time which meant that Brett spent a lot of time with Ken and Lois. Everyone called him BJ.  

1982

Brett is perched on the elephant that Ken brought back from Saigon.  

1982

Ken & Lois stayed together until Ken's death in 1992.  Lois lived almost two decades longer. 

1983

As BJ got older, the house grew less and less like the one where I had lived.  I have to admit, it felt a little strange.  

1984

Ken's garage was the one place that NEVER changed.  Is it any wonder he adored BJ?  

1984

Barb started going out again, which created tension with Lois especially when she stayed out late.

(ca 1984)

I enjoyed playing guncle whenever I returned to El Paso with Rio Grande excursions.

Rio Grande (1985)

I tried turning BJ on to "PeeWee's Playhouse."  

1986

I'm pretty sure he enjoyed the inflatable Godzilla I put under the tree that year a lot more.

1986

Barb eventually remarried.  David had played football at a rival high school a decade after we graduated.  They split, too, although not before adopting Brittany, giving BJ a younger sister.  David told BJ he was leaving Barb the night before BJ visited me with a friend in New York City.

 David, Barb & BJ with unidentified couple
(ca 1988)

When I saw BJ several years ago, he told me Ken had been the only real father he'd ever had.

More Ken:

A LIFE IN PICTURES:  Kenneth Bruce Hon (1917-1992)

More Barb & BJ:

Welcome Back To New York (2022)

Family  Reunion  (2019)

FLASHBACK:  Boys Will Be Boys  (1996)

FLASHBACK:  A Wedding in Wyoming (1983)

FLASHBACK:  Andress Eagles (1967-1971)