On The Town

JoAnne and I, both only children, go way back, although we have never spent much time together.  We last saw each other in 1993, shortly before my 40th birthday.  She wouldn't become a grandmother for more than a decade.

It's funny how your mind works.  Her comment the first time I took off my shirt in the dune buggy, the year I graduated from high school, remains seared in my brain for the lingering trauma it caused: "Jesus Jeff, your tits are bigger than mine!"  Perhaps that accounts for my rude greeting, which popped out of nowhere as she stepped off the elevator in the Chelsea Savoy Hotel more than half a century later.  "Well, you haven't gotten any taller, have you!" The subconscious never forgets.

Williamsburg Pizzeria

JoAnne and Mia, her 17-year-old granddaughter, were in town for several days from Elbert County, Colorado, the red part of the state, less than a hundred miles north of where Cynthia, my other conservative friend, lives. They bought tickets to Hamilton upon arrival so I began our late-afternoon tour of Lower Manhattan with a walk along the Canyon of Heroes and a pilgrimage to the Founding Father's grave.  His wife Eliza is buried there, too. American coins cover her flat tombstone.

Trinity Church Cemetery

I warned JoAnne that we'd be doing a lot of walking when she inquired if it would be OK to pack open-toed shoes.  "Comfort should be your top priority," I advised.  Apparently, she and Mia got over their fear of dog poop and needles!  People have very peculiar notions about New York City streets.

"I can't remember when I've had my picture taken taken so often," she remarked at one point. "You obviously haven't been hanging around me much," I replied.  This is as close to a smile as JoAnne got.  She's also a woman of few words.

After grabbing a bite at Brookfield Place, we rested our dogs going to and from Staten Island on the ferry, one of New York City's few tourist bargains.  

It's free and you can't beat the views!

The sun was setting over Lady Liberty, both literally and figuratively.

We toured Central Park the following afternoon despite afternoon temperatures exceeding one-hundred degrees for the first time in nearly a decade.  They already had seen the Sea Glass Carousel in Battery Park, so I showed them a more traditional kind.

Unbelievably, some bros were playing pickle ball in the courts behind Mia and JoAnne.

When her i-Phone overheated, this hula hooper had to stop shooting her Tik Tok content.  I suggested she try Moynihan Train Hall instead, where young people can be found performing dance routines on the polished floors of the windowed corridor above the platforms.

I told Mia she looked as if she could have been painted by Velázquez.

"Lady with a Fan" (17th century)

"Is that a good thing?" she asked.  Our frames of reference differed considerably.

This turned out to be as close as she got to Hamilton.  At the last minute, Stub Hub failed to come through with the tickets JoAnne had purchased.  Fortunately they got a refund and were able to see The Lion King instead.

On Wednesday, we agreed that air conditioned activities like art appreciation at MoMA would be the way to go.

A stuffed animal installation by Mike Kelley seemed like the perfect backdrop for a photo op. Mia had made a special trip to F.A.O. Schwartz to look for a Jellycat.

"Deodorized Central Mass with Satellites" (1987) 

Next stop:  Tiffany's, where JoAnne and Mia declined refreshment in the cafe.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered they had brunched there the next day!  My itinerary clearly didn't include enough luxury shopping time.  Prada welcomed them, too.

The proximity of the sacred to the profane on Fifth Avenue remains scandalous.

St. Patrick's Cathedral

SKIMS

My visitors missed the Pride Parade by just a day.

In our quest for continued heat relief, JoAnne treated me to a fabulous tour of Radio City Music Hall.  It's not every day that you get to meet a Rockette.  Thanks again, JoAnne!

On Friday morning we took the New York Ferry to Williamsburg.  A thirty-degree drop in the temperature made sightseeing much more pleasant despite overcast skies.

Residents of Elbert County probably don't see a lot of samizdat.

I chose Haricot Vert Dreamworld as a random destination.  It specializes in charms.  I went a little overboard fashioning key chains for the D-Girls.

We people-watched on bustling Bedford Street. I taught JoAnne and Mia how to play "hipster or not" while they shared a slice of pizza.

"Maybe this guy loves New York a little too much."

Drew texted us when he finished assembling our purchases at Haricot Vert.  Mia's bracelet included the letters F, F & A.

Would you believe that she belongs to an organization that now goes by that acronym?  Back home, Mia currently operates a grazing operation with several other FFA members.

I don't think I took a more iconic shot during their visit.

We ended the day with even more walking, from Little Island to Hudson Yards on the High Line.

This was the last time they had to say "cheese."

Season's Greetings from Manhattan

It’s getting harder and harder for your intrepid photographer to find holiday spirit in New York City, and not only because retailers continue to cut back on their decorating budgets.  

When I first began this project nearly two decades ago I only recently had turned 50 and getting up and down the stairs of my third-floor walk-up—even loaded with my bike and a week’s worth of groceries—wasn’t an issue.  But now, permanent retirement to the house I share in Florida looms so enjoy these photos—they may be my swan song.

This year’s batch (too many, I know) is organized geographically and comes complete with my sentimental and occasionally snarky commentary.  HO HO HO!

Upper East Side

Did any of the window dressers at Bloomingdale's actually see "Wicked" which I loved, much to my surprise?  First, the Wizard doesn't even fly in his balloon, which Hudson Yards does so much better anyway. 

More importantly, mannequins must not come in green.

And if you're not going to give Glinda a bubble, shouldn't she at least have a wand?

Christmas seemed mostly MIA on much of Madison Avenue this year.  Once home to some of the city's most delightful windows ( RIP Barney's) you're now more likely to find nail salons or empty storefronts.

Jimmy Choo

Baccarat

Manolo Blahnik

Roger Vivier

Loro Piana

Valentino

Asprey

Bonpoint

Not only did the footprint of Hermes shrink after relocaing across the street, its now cluttered displays lack the WTF creativity that made the store one of my favorite destinations.

Ralph Lauren, at least, kept up the holiday tradition although the grandness of the company's buildings is more impressive than the stale decoration which could use some zhuzhing.

Zitomer, on upper Madison Avenue, deserves honorable mention.  This independent pharmacy does something fun and different every year.  Just look at the critter on the scooter.  Ride, kitty, ride!

Diptyque

Love Shack Fancy

The green and red Helmsley Building, a dozen blocks downtown, looks more impressive the closer you get.

Berluti

Miu Miu

Fendi

Midtown

Penn Plaza and Madison Square Garden have spruced up as a result of the magnificent Moynihan Train Hall.  They're both a lot more welcoming with new facelifts.

Speaking of Moynihan, it's a great spot to enjoy some pre-or-post commuting holiday cheer.

Apparently, the Macy*s Thanksgiving parade is America's most widely watched entertainment event.  If only all those viewers would express their appreciation by shopping at the bricks-and-mortar flagship in Herald Square, the dowager empress of New York City's department stores.

The windows remain vibrant, especially for kids who grew up with screens.

But if you really want to find traditional Christmas spirit, you'll have to patronize a shop that merchandises it.

In recent years Bryant Park has blossomed into a holiday destination with a Christmas market and an ice skating rink.  Can you find the Empire State Building?  Newer skyscrapers have begun to obscure it.

Here's the gorgeous Helmsley Building from another angle.

Fifth Avenue

Time for a rant.  Lord & Taylor, an early victim of one-click shopping, once boasted the most traditional (and visited) Christmas windows in Manhattan.  They drew crowds to lower Fifth Avenue by quaintly celebrating the season more than commerce. When an internet company purchased the building, the windows sat empty.  Amazon filled them this year, adding insult to injury.

It's no wonder Jeff Bezos is one of the world's richest people.  The Amazon windows could not get much cheaper, more branded or more utilitarian.  Shoppers can use a QR code affixed to the glass to order the products on display.  

Bah, humbug--this fox definitely found his way into the hen house!

While working at the New York Public Library early in my career,  the New York Times quoted me after a thief stole Patience's wreath.  "'It makes people at the library wonder what kind of people prowl around on Fifth Avenue at night." Holiday photographers, for one!

The circulating library across the street, which re-opened during the pandemic after extensive renovations, may not look like much from the outside, but inside it's a gorgeous oasis of urban calm for adults and children.

Like water seeking its own level, this Christmas market "popped up" in front of an empty lot.  Note the green and red spires in the background.

I photographed the entrance to St. Patrick's Cathedral to make a scandalous point. SKIMS (Kim Kardashian's body wear line) just opened a new store less than two blocks uptown in the former Vanderbilt Triple Palace. So what?  It houses an enormous, headless statue of a voluptuous, nude woman with visible pubic hair.  Have the sacred and the profane ever been in such close proximity?  You should have seen the line to get inside (the only way to shoot an NSFW picture)!

This year Saks Fifth Avenue cancelled its holiday light show--a crowdpleaser projected on the facade of its flagship store, across from Rockfeller Center--and slashed its window-dressing budget.  To quote a retail maxim, "You get what you pay for."  

Cartier's sales, on the other hand, must be booming!

A week after I took this photo, Skims opened in the store to the right with papered windows (Cartier also occupies the former Vanderbilt Triple Palace, erected for multiple branches of the robber baron family).

Coach

This little bird also alights on a roof deck of Tiffany & Co.'s recently refurbished building.

Apple

Dior

This year, Bergdorf Goodman's windows celebrate New York City's landmarks, including those used by pets.  Funny story:  when I was in college my stepsister came to visit at Thanksgiving.  We bought a gag gift  called "Dog Gone" at FAO Schwartz, then located just around the corner.  A slightly curved, stiffened leash, it also had a harness about a foot off the ground.  We elicited peals of laughter from holiday shoppers when we stopped at every fire hydrant on Fifth Avenue to relieve our invisible pooch.  

Scooters and e-bikes are pretty much the bane of my existence, but who can begrudge them when they're this bejeweled?

My favorite window was entirely devoted to the library!  Working there for nearly five years was like a continuing education.  With no exams.

Hailing a boxy yellow cab that easily could seat parties of up to six was so much more glamorous than calling an Uber.

IMHO--after taking these holiday photos for nearly 20 years--Bergdorf's is the only remaining store that can justify a window celebrating itself.

I do love a poodle, even a purple one.  The breed reminds me of my transcontinental childhood.

Believe it or not, you can find all of these creatures in New York City's parks.  

I can't ever recall seeing a menorah in a Bergdorf's display.

I'll bet passengers on the North Pole Express don't see as many sights as you'll find in this blog post.

Fifth Avenue & 57th Street

Let's be real:  LVMH owns the world of luxury retail, including Louis Vuitton, Tiffany & Co., Christian Dior, Fendi, Loro Piana and Marc Jacobs.  We just (window) shop in it.  If ever there was any doubt, look no further than this intersection.

Louis Vuitton

The white Tiffany's bird is hard to see but visible perched just to the left of the red snowflake.

Louis Vuitton & Tiffany's

There's the bird again, to the right of the Tiffany's blue band.

Rockefeller Center

The annual lighting of the tree occurred the evening after the early-morning murder of the United Healthcare CEO.

Security was as tight as I've ever experienced in midtown during the holiday season with foot and bike patrols out in force.

Metropolitan Museum of Art

Soho

Retail in Soho is like a game of musical chairs.  The stores rarely stay put from one year to the next.

A Bathing Ape

Tory Burch

Concepts are often high in neighborhood art galleries.  

Louis Vuitton

Etro

Anthropologie

MCM

Thompson Street

During the early 80s, a friend of mine once briefly sublet a loft in Soho.  He had to throw down the keys when I visited, just like in After Hours.

7 For All Mankind

Newer structures lack the old world charm that make the neighborhood iconic.

Jaquemus

Note the chili pepper wreaths.  My stepmother sent me one many years ago from New Mexico.  After the holidays, I turned the wreath into powder with a food processor and then used it for a red enchilada sauce that I served to my housemates in the Pines.  It set their mouths afire!

Don't get me started on the cost of chocolate.  Be prepared to spend $160 before opening the box in the Neuhaus window.! 

I blame Virgil Abloh for the functionalism of many luxury retailers.  Just look at Gucci and Chanel.  It's all about the clothes, not the decor.

Gucci

But it really doesn't take much to signal the season.

Moschino

. . . even a simple color contrast can do it.

Symbols do the trick, too.

During the holidays, NYC firefighters use their down time to decorate their houses.

Lower Broadway

Prada

I always forget there's a Bloomingdale's downtown.

Look closely and you'll be able to guess the name of these retailers.

Swarovski

Lower East Side

My passion for street art makes this corner at Houston and Canal Streets a favorite stop, but the holiday projections, new this year, seem a little incongruous.

Flats make the wreath.

Basilica of Old St. Patrick's

Hudson Yards

Nieman Marcus may have abandoned ship too soon.  The center of retail gravity in Manhattan seems to have shifted south and west as a result of the High Line and Hudson Yards.

P!Q

Lower Manhattan

The Oculus added an under-utilized skating rink, at least on a Thursday evening.

A few more skaters could be found at Brookfield Place's rink, just across the West Side Highway.  Right on the Hudson River, it offers winter-crisp views of the Jersey City skyline and the Maxwell House Coffee clock.

"Holiday Under The Palms," complete with a children's castle, replaced the high-tech luminaria in the lobby.

I do love a seahorse.

The World Trade Center light show is visible from the entrance to Brookfield Place.  Escalators take pedestrians to a passageway that connects to the Oculus.

Louis Vuitton really is inescapble.

Nordstrom

That's actual snow on top of the golden turtledoves!